Dallas, TX—Fresh off the historic conservative whipping of Democrats, Crapsalot Industries™, has developed new brands of toilet paper. These two brands of toilet paper are marketed specifically to conservatives, insuring that they will enjoy these products as weak-kneed RINOs have emphatically been rejected.I can think of at least three more faces they should add- that lying Lap Weasel Hannity's being first.
The new brands—Trent Lott and Lindsey Graham—will be sold in stores everywhere. In the past, only Democrats have been able to wipe their ass with Trent Lott and Lindsey Graham, but now, thanks to Crapsalot Industries™, you can too!
President of Marketing Mark Zealous indicates that this toilet paper was a huge success during its test phase. "This brand just took off," stated Zealous. "It was so successful that we’ve already sent cases to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Mark Levin, and now they’re wiping their ass with Trent Lott and Lindsey Graham on a daily basis. You’ll enjoy doing it as much as they do."